A friend of ours--who has also lost her dad--likens the feeling to that of being orphaned. I don't think I feel that way; I still have my mom. My dad & I didn't live in the same city so I didn't see him all that often but in the back of my mind I always knew he was there. Now I find it hard to imagine that that is no longer the case. I still sort of expect the phone calls, of seeing him when I go to home, of getting cards in the mail with his signature on them--you know what I mean.
Life seems like a window.
Beyond the view on the left side of the window are those who have passed away--my dad has now passed beyond my view (he's still there; I just can't see him any longer). Once I got to middle age and beyond I came to realize that I myself am in the middle of the window and I'm moving to the left. It's a weird feeling in some ways; it's weird if I think of it in a secular kind of way--if I think that life in the window is all there is. But on the other hand, it's exciting too, to think that I'm made for eternity and that the window is only a window. There's way more outside. What do I know about life outside . . . beyond the confines of the window?
Beyond the view on the right side of the window are those who have not yet been born. In our family, Shea has most recently come into view. He's learning and growing for him too the window is moving.
For me these are interesting things to think about.
To the dads out there . . . Happy Father's Day! I hope you have a great day with your families.
Happy Father's Day, Dad!